What is an "unveiling" of a cemetery monument?

A common Jewish practice to honor the dead is the unveiling. This refers to a graveside ceremony where the family of the deceased consecrates their relative’s headstone monument.

What happens at an unveiling?

At an unveiling, the cemetery monument is shown to the public. Often, it is covered with a veil, handkerchief or cloth. This is a ceremony that typically occurs up to one year after the funeral and burial. At the ceremony, family members and friends recite prayers and passages including Psalms, a prayer for the dead and sometimes the prayer Kaddish. Participants can also give a eulogy. A Rabbi usually officiates this service.
According to the group Chabad's Website, removing the veil, handkerchief or cloth from the gravestone represents the “erection of the tombstone.” Any family member can remove the veil.

Tradition

As explained in a previous blog, many people at the unveiling follow the Jewish tradition of placing a small rock or pebble on the headstone. This is one way to show one’s presence at the gravesite. In this instance, individuals may leave a pebble on the tombstone to respect and honor the dead and to also show their presence.

It is interesting to note that Chabad considers eating and drinking at the cemetery to be in “poor taste.” Not eating or drinking at a cemetery is to show respect for mourners and the dead. It is also a relatively new custom. Many years ago, it would take a very long time to reach a cemetery. This was due to less advanced methods of transportation, so it was acceptable to eat a small amount of food at the cemetery. However, this was done away from the graves.

Pet cemeteries: for devout owners

Pets, their cemeteries and their tombstones

Some pet owners choose to have their deceased pets cremated and others choose burial. Just like cemeteries for humans, pet cemeteries offer pre-need options for pet owners. That way, there is no tension when the animal passes away.

For many people, any burial offers closure. It gives them a chance to remember their loved ones, let them “rest in peace,” and to begin the next step of the journey of life.

All pet owners handle the death of their pet differently. They can choose to utilize the services of a pet cemetery and have a burial ceremony or can simply choose to have the pet buried without a ceremony. Each owner has different preferences for their pet. If the animal is buried at a pet cemetery, then pet owners will choose a monument to remember their pet. Often, these monuments are smaller than a person’s headstone or other type of grave maker. That is not always the case, however. The country’s oldest pet cemetery, established in 1896 by a veterinarian, is located in Hartsdale, New York. For reference, this is approximately a forty-five minute drive out of New York City. At that cemetery, there is a large (10’x10’) canine mausoleum that dates back to the early twentieth century.

Just like many human gravestones, many pet monuments can have an interesting design. Decorations may be a ceramic portrait or an etched paw print. Some pet owners at Hartsdale’s pet cemetery choose to include an epitaph on the grave marker. There are a number of standard epitaphs for pets. Some deal with loyalty and others deal with God and heaven.

Tips to preserve cemetery monuments when creating rubbings

Cemeteries are places were memories reside. As a result, many people wish to take a piece of that cemetery with them. That is why cemetery visitors create gravestone rubbings. They usually use paper and pencil or a piece of graphite to create a lasting impression of engraved text on a tombstone, headstone or other grave marker. This practice is also popular at war memorial monuments.

 

Tips and advice

One should be respectful and responsible when visiting cemeteries. There are many ways to rub lettering or to clean lettering that would actually damage the monument. For that reason, there are a few tips to make sure that one does not damage the deceased’s cherished monuments. They are as follows and are adapted from the Association for Gravestone Studies:

·      You might feel that your rubbing will be ruined by the presence of moss or lichen. Most of the time it is safe to take of the moss and not the lichen. The lichen grows with the stone, so if you attempted to scrape it off, then you will also be damaging your loved one’s grave-monument. Therefore, it is unwise to scrape off lichen or moss that is stuck firmly to the gravestone.

·      Another way to ruin the grave marker is to rub it in a weak area. Don’t let flaking stone or unstable stone fall off!

·      Never use any substance to clean the gravestone. It should seem obvious that nail polish remover could damage the gravestone. Also, a mild soap can damage the gravestone. If you used any substance to clean the gravestone, the substance might hurt the stone and it would also be hard to remove. Rubbing alcohol could stay on the stone for weeks until a rainstorm washed it off.

·      Do not use a brush to wipe away dust. Something as gentle as this can, by accident, brush away granite. Additionally, a brush with metal bristles could scrape a marble surface.

·      Never perform a rubbing that you have not practiced before. Some cemeteries require permits for rubbing, so be sure to get one, if needed.

·      Do not leave papers, pencils or any other trash near the grave. That is disrespectful and may also take a long time to for someone to clean it up.

It would be wise to follow these tips when visiting a cemetery. Even though monuments can be repaired, it would be disrespectful to damage a tombstone.